Assertiveness Is...
Assertiveness Is Not...

Assertiveness is:

• Expressing your needs clearly and directly.
• Expressing your ideas without feeling guilty or intimidated.
• Sticking up for what you believe your child needs -- even though professionals may not agree.
• Knowing your rights and how to get them.
• Documenting what your child needs and all facts pertaining to his/her case.
• Collaborating with service providers and treating them like partners.
• Effective communication.
• Conveying your feelings of self-confidence when you communicate with others.
• Advocating effectively on your own behalf.
• Self-reliance and independence.
• Persisting until you get all the services your child needs.
• Analyzing a problem and pinpointing the area of responsibility before you act.
• Agitating to get necessary legislation passed and implemented.
• Organizing for change.
• Having a positive attitude at all times
• Being strong when others are weak
• Joining others who are organizing for change.
• Taking pride in your accomplishments.
• Encouraging your child to have dreams and develop the skills to make those dreams come true.

Assertiveness is not:

• Beating around the bush before stating your needs.
• Feeling too guilty or afraid to express your needs.
• Agreeing with professionals -- no matter how you feel -- because "professionals know what is best."
• Ignorance about your rights.
• Leaving everything to others because "they know how to do these things."
• Accepting inappropriate or inadequate services for your child because it's easier to let professionals handle things.
• Ineffective communication.
• Begging for what is legitimately yours by law.
• Abdicating to others your right to advocate on behalf of your own child.
• Reliance and dependence on others.
• Giving up when you run into red tape.
• Acting precipitously before you get all the facts.
• Letting the politicians "take care of laws and all that political stuff."
• Accepting the status quo because "nothing can be done"
• Giving in to defeat.
• Being swayed by others who have a "no win" attitude.
• Acting "only" on behalf of your own child.
• Being uncomfortable about your accomplishments.
• Discouraging your child from having dreams.

How to Get Services by Being Assertive by Charlotte Des Jardins published by Family Resource Center on Disabilities, Chicago, IL 1993

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