First Attempts to Help

The reasonable first step when you are concerned about some aspect of your child's behavior is to talk with your child. Communication may be all that is needed for your child to reveal what is troubling him or her. Then decide how serious it is. If it is something that does not call for an immediate action plan, wait and see if the behavior will change of its own accord, with a little help from you. Most childhood problems are resolved in this way.

If the problems continue, many parents wisely seek advice of their own parents or other relatives, or talk with friends or co-workers. They might also seek the opinion of the family doctor or pediatrician, or the counsel of a priest, rabbi, or minister. If the youngster is in school or preschool, parents might turn to a teacher, guidance counselor or program director.

It is not uncommon for parents to go to their Community Mental Health Center or other clinic at this time for a consultation, especially if they're "feeling stuck." Many therapists report that it is much easier to "nip the problem in the bud" if parents come in before they and/or their child feel overwhelmed.

Sometimes parents are afraid to take this step because they don't want to feel they have a problem child. There is nothing wrong with being able to accept a little help from a professional.

If Problems Continue

If problems continue after talking to your child and consulting with other adults, and you have not yet sought outside help, it is important to seek professional help before the problem becomes deeply ingrained and thus more difficult to handle.

When Someone Says, "Don't Worry"

Parents often report that professionals have told them, "He'll grow out of it, don't worry." Many parents do not stop worrying. They may continue to have a feeling that something is not right, but are afraid to act upon those feelings because they have been told by an "expert" that nothing is wrong with their child. This can be harmful to both the child and the parents. Children can most often be helped if problems are treated in an early stage.

Parents know their children best. If you are truly concerned about your child, but have been told "Not to worry," trust intuition and get a second opinion.

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